THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF LOVE
1. Love is divided into two kinds: one is called love of benevolence [unselfish] and the other love of concupiscence [selfish]. Love of concupiscence is that love by which we love something for the benefit we expect from it. Love of benevolence is that love by which we love something for its own good. What is it to have love of benevolence towards a person, other than wishing him well?
2. If the one for whom we wish something good has it already and possesses it, then we wish it for him by the pleasure and satisfaction which we have because he has it and possesses it. Thus gratifying love arises. It is nothing else than an act of the will by which it unites and joins itself to the pleasure, satisfaction and good of another. But if the one for whom we wish the good does not have it, we wish it for him. Hence, this is called love of desire.
3. When love of benevolence is practised without response from the person loved, it is called simple benevolent love. When there is mutual response, it is termed love of friendship. Mutual response consists in three points: the friends should love each other, they should know that they love each other; they should have some communication, intimacy and familiarity.
4. If we love a friend simply, without preferring him to others, it is simple friendship. If we prefer him, then such a friendship is called affection. It is as if we say love of election since among many who are loved,[1] we choose this one showing preference.
5. When we do not prefer a friend to others by this affection, it is called simple affection. On the contrary, if we prefer a friend very much above others, then this friendship is called deep affection.
6. The esteem and preference we have for a friend is great and unequalled. Still it can be compared and ranked as proportionate with others. In this case, then it is called eminent, friendship. If the eminence of this friendship is beyond any comparison and proportion, above all others, then it is called incomparable, supreme and supereminent affection. In a word, it is charity which is due to the one only God. In fact, even in our language, the words cher dear, cherement - dearly, encherit to become dearer show a certain esteem, a price, a special value. So too, the word man among people is almost solely applied to males, as the more excellent sex. The word adoration has remained almost uniquely for God as its principal object. Similarly, the word charity is kept for the love of God as the highest and supreme affection.
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[1] Literally, many things that are loved. Since it is dealing with friendship we preferred to translate it as above.