LOVING SYMPATHY BY WHICH GRATIFYING LOVE IS STILL BETTER EXPLAINED
Compassion, sympathy, pity or mercy[1] is none other than a love which makes us share in the sufferings and the pain of the one we love. It draws into our heart the misery which he suffers. Hence it is called mercy or as one might say, a misery of the heart.[2] Likewise gratifying love draws into the heart of the lover the pleasure and satisfaction of the thing loved. It is love which produces both results. This is due to the power it has to unite the heart which loves to what is loved. By this means, love renders common the goods and evils of friends. What takes place in compassion gives much greater clarity as regards gratifying love.
Compassion derives its intensity from the love which causes it. So, the pity of mothers over the distress of their only children is intense. Often Sacred Scripture bears witness to it. What sorrow is in the heart of Hagar over the anguish of her son Ishmael whom she sees almost dying of thirst in the desert (Gn 21:16). What pity there is in the soul of David over the misery of his son Absalom (2 Sam 18: 32-33). Do you not see the maternal heart of the great Apostle [St. Paul], sick with the sick, burning with zeal for those scandalized (made to stumble) (2Cor 11:29). He is in continual sorrow for the loss of the Jews (Rom 9:2-4) and dying everyday for his beloved spiritual children (1Cor 15:31).
Above all, reflect on how love draws all the pain, all the tortures, trials, sufferings, sorrows, wounds, the passion, the cross and death itself of our Redeemer into the heart of his Holy Mother. Alas! The same nails which crucified the body of that divine child crucified also the heart of his Mother. The same thorns which pierced his head pierced through the soul of this very gentle Mother. She suffered the same misery of her son through pity, the same sorrow through sympathy, the same passion through compassion. Finally, the sword of death which pierced the body of this Beloved Son transpierced the heart of this dearly Beloved Mother (Lk 2 :35). Hence she could truly say that he was a bouquet of myrrh between her breasts (Song 1:12,13), that is, in her bosom and in the centre of her heart. See what sorrow Jacob feels on hearing the sad, though false, news of the death of his dear son Joseph. No, he says, I shall go down to Sheol to my son mourning (Gen 37:35), that is, to limbo[3] in the bosom of Abraham towards this child.
Our sympathy grows in intensity in proportion to the sorrow we see our friends suffer. However small the friendship may be, if the evil we see one suffering is extreme, then it creates in us great pity. For instance, we see Ceasar weeping over Pompey. So too, the daughters of Jerusalem could not refrain from weeping over our Lord (Lk 23:27). In fact, most of them were not very devoted to him. Similarly, the friends of Job, though bad friends, made great lamentation on seeing the dreadful spectacle of his overwhelming misery(Job 2:11,12,13). What a great stroke of sorrow the heart of Jacob felt on thinking that his dear child died a very cruel death. He was devoured by a wild beast (Gen 37:33-35). Besides, pity increases immensely at the presence of the object of misery. Due to it, poor Hagar moved away from her dying son to relieve the pain of compassion she felt. She says: I will not see the child die (Gn 21:16). So too, in a different context, our Lord wept seeing the tomb of his beloved friend Lazarus (Jn 11:35) and looking at his dear Jerusalem (Lk 19:41). The good man Jacob was overwhelmed by grief at the sight of the blood-stained robes of his poor little [son] Joseph (Gen 37: 33-35).
A number of causes increase delight. In so far as a friend is dearer to us, we have greater joy in his contentment. His good enters deeper into our heart. If the good is excellent, our joy in it is also greater. If we see our friend enjoying it, our rejoicing becomes very great. When the good Jacob knew that his son was living, O God, what joy (Gen 45: 27-28)! His spirit came back to him. He lived again, we may say, he rose again. What does it mean to say he lived again, he rose again? Theotimus, spirits die their own death only by their sin. It separates them from God in whom is their supernatural life. Sometimes another’s death makes them die. Thus it happened to Jacob about whom we are speaking. For love draws into the heart of the lover both the good and the evil of the person loved, the first by gratifying love and the second by sympathy. Thus, it drew the death of the loving Joseph into the heart of Jacob who loved him. By a miracle that is not possible for any other power except love, the spirit of this good father was full of the death of his son who was living and reigning. In so far as love was deceived, the effect came earlier.
The love which he [Jacob] had for a long time believed that his son was dead. It was in the heart of this good father. On the contrary, when he knew that, in fact, his son was alive, seeing that he was deceived, [this love] immediately rejected the imaginary death. In its place, there entered the real life of this same son. Thus he relived a new life because the life of his son entered into his spirit by gratifying love. It enlivened him with an unparalleled contentment. He found himself satiated with it. He did not esteem any other pleasure as comparable with it. So he says, It is enough for me, if my child Joseph is living. But he saw with his own eyes and experienced the greatness of his son at Goshen. He bent over him and wept for a long time over his shoulders. Then he says: Now I will die happy, my dear son, because I sawyour face and you are still living (Gen 46:29,30). O God, Theotimus, what joy! This old man expresses it very well. What does he wish to say by these words: Now I shall die happy because I have seen your face? What does it mean if not that his thrill is so great as to make his death itself joyful and pleasant, though it is the most sad and dreadful thing in the world?
Tell me, Theotimus, I request you, who feels the more the good of Joseph? Is it he who enjoys it or Jacob who rejoices over it? Certainly, good is good only because of the satisfaction it gives. If so, the father has it as much or even more than the son. The son, as he has the dignity of viceroy, has a lot of cares and [state] affairs. But the father enjoys it through contentment. He possesses simply what is good in the greatness and dignity of his son without duties, without care, and without trouble; I will die joyously, he says. Well, who does not see his satisfaction? If even death cannot disturb his joy, who can ever change it? If this contentment continues in the midst of the distress of death, who can ever put it out? For love is strong as death (Song 8:6); the joys of love overcome the sorrows of death. For death cannot make these joys die, but revives them. So it is like a fire in a spring close to Grenoble. It is fed in a wonderful way.[4] This we know most certainly. The great St. Augustine assures it. So holy charity is so strong that it nourishes its flames and consolations in the most sorrowful anguishes of death. The waters of trials and desolations cannot extinguish its fire (Song 8:7).
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[1] Here the meaning of similar terms in English from the Shorter Ox ford English Dictionary is given. The reader has to pay attention to the meaning St. Francis de Sales gives to them.
Compassion = Suffering together with another; Pity that inclines one to succour. Condoleance = (French) literally condolence = sympathetic grief; formal expression of sympathy with grief of others. Could be translated as empathy in the psychological sense of understanding and sharing another's feeling (not in the dictionary quoted). or Sympathy = the capacity of entering into and sharing the feelings of another or others. Pity = a feeling of tenderness aroused by the suffering or misfortune of another prompting a desire for its relief. Mercy = God's pitiful forbearance towards his creatures; disposition to forgive.
[2] In Latin, it is called misericordia and in French misericorde (misere de coeur) misery of the heart. We have translated it as mercy.
[3] Limbo was thought to be the dwelling place of children who died without Baptism. Now it is no longer taught.
[4] The fountain gives out a combustible gas with a flame about one foot high (Kerns, TLG, p. 192).