Friendship

St. Francis de Sales

Friendship is the most dangerous of all love. Why? Because other loves can exist without communication, exchange, closeness. But, friendship is completely founded upon communication and exchange and cannot exist in practice without sharing in the qualities and defects of the friend loved.

Not all love is friendship:

• First of all, because one can love without being loved. It may then be love, but not friendship. For friendship is mutual, reciprocal, and if it is not reciprocated, it is not friendship.

• Secondly, because it is not enough that it be reciprocal; it is also essential that those who love each other recognize their mutual love. If they are unaware of it, it is not friendship.

• Thirdly, because in friendship there must exist some kind of exchange or communication, for such is the foundation of friendship.

Friendship differs according to the different kinds of communication, and the communications differ according to the variety of goods exchanged. If these are false goods, then the friendship is false. Honey gathered from the best flowers is the best. So too, the better the goods exchanged, the better the friendship. It is said that the honey of Heraclea, gathered from aconite, which is very abundant in that region, renders mad those who eat it. So too, friendship founded on the exchange of false and vicious goods is itself completely false and vicious…

Table of Contents

Flirtations

True Friendships

Friendships: True And False

Remedies For Evil Friendships

More Advice On Friendships

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