WE SHOULD HAVE A CONTINUAL DESIRE TO LOVE
Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven (Mt 6:20). One treasure is not enough to please this divine Lover. He desires that we have many treasures, that our treasure is made up of many treasures. It means, Theotimus, that we should have an unquenchable desire for loving God, for adding always love to love. What is that urges bees so strongly to increase their honey, if not the love they have for it. O, the heart of my spirit created to love the infinite good! What love can you desire if not this love which is the most desirable of all the loves? Ah, O spirit of my heart, what desire can you love if not the most desirable of all the desires? O, love of sacred desires, O, desires of holy love! O, that I had desired to long for your perfections (Ps 119:20).[1]
A disgusted patient has no desire to eat. But he wishes to have appetite. He does not desire meat but he has a desire to desire it. Theotimus, to know whether we love God above all things is not possible for us unless God reveals it to us. But we may know easily whether we desire to love him. When we feel in us the desire for sacred love we know that we begin to love [God]. It is our sensitive[2] and animal part which desires this appetite. The sensitive part does not always obey the rational part. So it often happens that we desire the appetite and we cannot have it. But the desire to love and love itself depend on the same will. Hence as soon as we have formed the true desire to love, we begin to have some love. As this desire goes on increasing, in proportion to it, love also goes on increasing. He who earnestly desires love will soon love with fervour. O God, who will grant us the grace, Theotimus, that we burn with this desire? It is the desire of the poor and the preparation of their heart which God willingly grants (Ps 9:38). [3] He who is not sure of loving God is poor. If he desires to love, he is a beggar of happy beggary of which the Saviour said: Blessed are the beggars in spirit; for the Kingdom of God belongs to them (Mt 5:3).[4]
Such was St Augustine when he cried out: “O, to love! O, to make progress! O, to die to self! O, to attain God!" Such was St Francis [of Assisi] praying: “May I die of your love, O Friend of my heart, you have deigned to die for my love." Such was St Catherine of Genoa and Bl. [St.] Mother Teresa [of Avila] when like spiritual deers panting and dying of thirst for divine love, shot forth this cry: Ah, Lord, give me this water ( Jn 4:15).
The temporal avarice by which we eagerly desire earthly treasures is the root of all evils (1 Tim 6:10). But the spiritual avarice by which we desire the pure gold of sacred love is the root of all the good. He who earnestly desires love seeks it earnestly. He who earnestly seeks it, truly finds it (Mt 7:8). He who thus finds love has found the source of life from which he will draw the salvation of the Lord (Prov 8:35). Let us cry out night and day, O Theotimus, “Come, O, Holy Spirit! Fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them, the fire of your divine love." O heavenly love, when will you fill my soul!
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[1] NRSV My soul is consumed with longing (Ps 119:20)
[2] Literally sensual. It has a negative sense. We have used sensitive meaning what refers to the senses.
[3] NRSV Ps 9:18 is similar: For the needy shall not always be forgotten nor the hope ofthe poor perish forever. The Psalm has only 20 verses while the original text refers to Ps 9:38 as above.
[4] The Greek text is followed here