When young Tobias was told to go to Rages, he said, I do not know the way at all. His father replied, Well, go and find someone to be your guide. (Tobit 5:2,4). Similarly, I say to you, dear Philothea: If you want to set out earnestly on the path of devotion, find some good person to guide and direct you. This is the most important advice. The devout Avila[1] writes that in whatever way you search “You will never find the will of God with such certainty than by following the path of this humble obedience so much recommended and practised by all the devout persons of the past.”
Blessed[2] Mother Teresa knowing that a certain lady, Catherine of Cardona, did severe acts of penance, was eager to imitate her in this, against the advice of her confessor who had forbidden her to do so. Being tempted to disobey him on this point, God said to her: “My daughter, you are in a way that is good and safe. Do you see the penance she is doing? But I value more your obedience.” So she loved this virtue so much that, besides the obedience owed to her superiors, she vowed a special obedience to a very good man[3], and bound herself to follow his direction and guidance by which she was very greatly consoled.
Similarly, before her and after, many good people in order to better subject themselves to God have submitted their will to that of His servants, and this is very greatly praised by St. Catherine of Sienna in her Dialogues. The devout princess, St. Elizabeth, submitted herself in absolute obedience to the learned Master Conrad. The great St. Louis, before his death, gave his son this counsel: “Make your confession frequently, choose a confessor,” a suitable one, who is “a prudent man who can teach you with certainty” to do the things you need to do.
A faithful friend, says Holy Scripture (Sirach 6:14,16), is a strong defence: whoever has found one has found a treasure. A faithful friend is the medicine of life and of immortality: those who fear the Lord will find one. These divine words, you will note, refer principally to immortality, for which it is necessary to have, more than anything else, this faithful friend to guide our actions by his advice and counsel and so keep us safe from the snares and deceits of the evil one. He will be like a treasure of wisdom to us in our difficulties, sorrows and failures. He will serve as a medicine to soothe and comfort our hearts in our spiritual illness. He will protect us from evil and help to improve our good. When spiritually ill, he will prevent it leading to death since he will help us to recover.
But who will find such a friend? The Wise Man answers: Those who fear the Lord (Sirach 6:16), that is, the humble who earnestly desire their spiritual progress. Since it is so very important for you, Philothea, that on this holy journey of devotion you travel with a good guide, pray very earnestly to God to give you one after his own heart, and do not doubt. Even if it is necessary to send an Angel from heaven, as he did for young Tobias, he will give you a guide who is good and faithful.
Always look upon this guide as an Angel, that is, once you find him do not consider him as an ordinary man. And do not put your trust in him or in his human knowledge but in God. God will give you grace, and speak to you through this man, putting in his heart and in his mouth whatever is needed for your happiness. So much so that you should listen to him as to an Angel come down from heaven to take you there. In your dealings with him open your heart, with complete sincerity and fidelity, clearly disclosing to him the good and the bad in you without pretending or concealing. In this way, the good in you will be assessed and made more secure, and the bad will be set right and cured. So you will be given relief and strength in your troubles, and moderation and control in your joys. Have very great confidence in him along with a holy reverence, in such a way that reverence may not lessen confidence nor confidence hinder reverence. Entrust yourself to him with the respect of a daughter for her father, and respect him with the confidence of a son in his mother. In short, this friendship should be strong and gentle, entirely holy, entirely sacred, entirely divine and entirely spiritual.
And that it may be so, choose one from a thousand, writes John of Avila. And I insist, choose one from ten thousand, for those are fit for such a task are very few indeed. He must be full of charity, of knowledge, and of prudence. If he lacks any one of these three qualities, there is danger.
But I tell you once again, ask God to give you such a person and when you find one give thanks to God. Be faithful and do not look for others. Rather, move on with simplicity, humility and confidence, for your journey will be full of happiness.
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[1] St. John of Avila (1500-1569), a Spanish priest, author of Advice for a Christian Life, canonized by Pope Paul VI in 1970.
[2] St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582), canonized only in 1622.
[3] Fr. Gratian (mentioned in Third Part, Ch. 11:3rd last paragraph).