THE LOVING ATTRACTIONS OF OUR LORD HELP AND ACCOMPANY US TO FAITH AND CHARITY
Between the first awakening from sin or from unbelief and the final decision to believe perfectly, often a long period of time elapses. During this interval, we can pray like Pachomius, as we have seen.[1] The father of the poor lunatic, according to St. Mark’s Gospel, affirmed that he was believing, that is, he had begun to believe. He knew about himself, that he did not believe sufficiently. So he cried out: Alas! Lord, I believe but help my unbelief (Mk 9:23). It was as if he wished to say: I am no more in the darkness of the night of unbelief. Already the rays of your faith illumine the horizon of my spirit. Yet I do not believe enough. It is a knowledge that is fully weak and mixed with darkness. Alas! Lord, help me.
The great St. Augustine solemnly utters these significant words: “Hear, O man and listen! Are you not drawn? Pray that you may be drawn." In this, his intention was not to speak about the first movement which God makes “in us but without us," while he stirs us up and awakens us from our sleep in sin. Who can pray before he is awakened? He is speaking about the decision we make to be faithful. He thinks that to believe is to be drawn. Hence, he warns those who were aroused to believe in God to pray for the gift of faith. No one could have known better the difficulties we experience between the first movement God makes in us and the perfect decision to believe fully than St. Augustine. He received a vast variety of attractions [to the faith] from the words of the glorious St. Ambrose, through his discussions with Ponticianus and from a thousand other sources. Yet he did not cease to delay. He had so many difficulties to resolve. It is about him rather than any other that we could say what he later told others: Alas, Augustine, if you are not drawn, if you do not believe, then, “pray that you may be drawn" and that you may believe.
Our Lord draws our hearts by the delights which he gives them. They make us find the heavenly doctrine sweet and pleasing. This sweetness commits and binds our will to recognize and give perfect consent to faith by these lovable bonds. Beforehand, God does not fail to exercise his goodness towards us by his holy inspirations. So also our enemy does not cease to practise his malice on us by his temptations. However, we remain in complete freedom to consent to heavenly attractions or to reject them. The Sacred Council of Trent has clearly decided that, “if anyone were to say that the free will of man moved and stirred by God does not cooperate with it by consenting to God who moves and calls him to dispose himself and prepare for obtaining the grace of justification, or to deny that he can withhold his consent if he wishes, such a person would be excommunicated" and condemned by the Church. If we do not reject the grace of holy love, grace goes on expanding by a continual increase in our souls till they are fully transformed. It is like great rivers which on reaching open plains spread out and always take up more space.
Inspiration draws us to faith. If it does not meet with any opposition from us, it leads us even to repentance and charity. St. Peter was like an apode raised aloft by the inspiration received from his Master’s eyes (Lk 22:61, 62). He allows himself to be freely moved and carried by this gentle wind of the Holy Spirit. He looks at the salvific eyes that had stirred him. He reads in them, as in the book of life, the gentle call to forgiveness which Divine goodness is offering him. He draws a right motive of hope. He goes out of the court. He reflects on the horror of his sin and detests it. He weeps, sighs. He prostrates his wretched heart before the merciful heart of his Lord. He cries for mercy for his sin. He decides on an inviolable loyalty. By the progress of these movements practised with the help of grace which leads him, assists him and helps him continually, finally, he receives the forgiveness of his sins. Thus he passes from grace to grace as St. Prosper declares, “without grace, we do not run to grace."
To conclude this point: Graces come before the person. Feeling the first attractions, the person consents to grace. As if coming to oneself after a long swoon, the person begins to sigh and utter these words: Alas, my dear Spouse, my Friend, draw me, I beg you. Hold me by my arm, otherwise, I cannot walk. But if you draw me, then we run, you by helping me by the odour of your perfumes and I, as I cooperate with my feeble consent. Feeling the fragrance of your sweetness strengthens and energises me completely till the balm of your sacred name (Song 1:3), that is, the salvific anointing of my justification, is spread over me.
Do you see, Theotimus, the soul would not pray unless it was awakened. As soon as it is awakened, it feels the attractions and prays that it be drawn. Being drawn it runs. It would not run, were it not for the perfumes which attract it and by which it is drawn. It would not run, if these perfumes had not revived its heart by the power of their precious fragrance. The quicker it runs, the closer it approaches its heavenly Spouse. It feels all the more the sweetness he diffuses, till finally he himself flows into its heart like a balm spread out. So it cries out surprised by this not so soon expected and sudden happiness: O my Spouse, you are a balm poured out in my heart. It is not a marvel if young souls cherish you /Song 1:3).
In this way, dearest Theotimus, heavenly inspiration comes to us, comes to us beforehand stimulating our wills to sacred love. If we do not reject it, it accompanies us and surrounds us to arouse us and always to urge us forward. If we do not reject it, it does not abandon us until it has brought us to the harbour of most holy charity. It does for us three services which the great angel Raphael did for his dear Tobias: Inspiration guides us throughout our journey to holy penance. It protects us against the dangers and attacks of the devil. It comforts, enlivens and strengthens us in our difficulties (Tob 12: 3).
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[1] Bk 2, Ch. 13.