Anxiety is not just a temptation by itself. Rather it is a source from which and by which many temptations come. Hence, I speak something about it. Sadness is nothing else than the sorrow of heart which we experience due to some evil in us against our liking. It can be external such as poverty, sickness, contempt or internal such as ignorance, dryness[1] aversion or temptation. Hence when we feel the presence of some evil, we are displeased at it, and this is sadness. We immediately desire to be freed from it, and to have the means to do so. So far we are right, for each one naturally desires what is good and avoids what is considered to be evil.
If we seek the means to be delivered from our troubles for the love of God, we will seek them with patience, gentleness, humility and calm. We will look for our deliverance more from the goodness and providence of God than from our own efforts, skill or diligence. If we seek our deliverance out of self-love, we will be eager and anxious in search of the means, as if this deliverance depended more on ourselves than on God. I do not say that we think so, but I say that we act eagerly as if we thought so. If we do not obtain at once what we desire, we fall into great restlessness and impatience. This, instead of overcoming the evil, only makes it worse. Thus we are overwhelmed with anguish and distress. We experience such a great loss of courage and strength that the evil seems beyond cure. You see than that sadness, justified in the beginning, begets anxiety. Anxiety in its turn increases sadness, making it extremely dangerous.
Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall us except sin. Sedition and internal troubles ruin a nation utterly and prevent it from being able to resist a foreign invasion. Similarly, when we are troubled and restless we lose our power to maintain the virtue which we have acquired. We also lose the means of resisting the temptation of the enemy who then makes every effort to fish, as they say, in troubled waters.
Anxiety arises from an inordinate desire to be freed from the evil we experience or to acquire the good we hoped for. Yet there is nothing which so aggravates the evil or impedes the good as anxiety and eagerness. Birds remain captive in the nets and traps because, when they are entangled in them, they flutter and struggle wildly in order to escape; by doing that they always entangle themselves the more. Therefore when you are taken up by the desire to be delivered from some evil or to obtain some good, place yourself above all in peace and tranquillity. Compose your judgement and your will. Then quietly and gently pursue the object of your desire, taking in order the means which are fitting. And when I say ‘quite gently’, I do not mean ‘negligently’ but ‘without eagerness, confusion and anxiety.’ Otherwise instead of obtaining what you desire you will spoil everything and get yourself entangled.
My soul is always in my hands, Lord, and I have not forgotten thy law, said David (Ps. 119:109). Examine more than once every day, but at least evening and morning, whether your souls is in your hands or whether some passion or anxiety has robbed you of it. Consider whether your heart is under your control, or if it has escaped from your hands to entangle itself in some inordinate attachment of love, hatred, envy, avarice, fear, weariness or joy. If it has wandered, above all things, go after it and bring back quite gently to the presence of God, subjecting your feelings and desires to the obedience and guidance of his divine will. For, like those who fear to lose something that is precious to them, hold it tightly in your hands so in imitation of this great king we should always say: O my God, my soul is at stake; and therefore, carry it always in my hands, and thus I have not forgotten your holy law (Ps. 119:109).
Do not let your desires, however small and unimportant, to trouble you. After the little desire, the great and more important ones would find your heart more inclined to trouble and disorder. When you experience the beginning of anxiety, entrust yourself to God. Decide to do nothing of what your desire urges you until the anxiety has passed away completely, unless it is something which cannot be put off. In such a case you must restrain and control the course of your desire with a gentle and peaceful effort. Then you must act according to reason, not according to your inclination.
If you can disclose your anxiety to your spiritual director or at least to some faithful and devout friend, do not doubt that you will find relief immediately. Making known the sufferings of heart has the same effect on the soul as blood-letting has upon the body of one who has constant fever: it is the remedy of remedies. As the king St. Louis advised his son: “If your heart is troubled make it known at once to your confessor or to some good person. You will then be able to bear your ill easily by the comfort which he will give you.”
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[1] Experienced in prayer, see Part II, Chapter 9