When you have consolations, dearest Philothea, act as I have just directed you. But this fine weather, so pleasant, will not always last. Sometimes, it will happen that the feelings of devotion will be completely removed and taken away from you. Then you will feel like an arid desert, fruitless and barren, where there is no path or road to God, nor any water (Ps. 63:1) of grace to water it, because the drought there turns it into a waste land. Alas, anyone in such a state deserves compassion, especially when this evil is acute. Thus like David, he feeds on tears day and night while (Ps. 42:3) by a thousand insinuations, the devil mocks him to lead him to despair, saying: O! wretched creatures, where is your God (Ps. 42:3). By what road can you find him? Who can ever restore to you the joy of his holy grace.
What will you do then, Philothea? You must discover the source of the evil: in fact, we ourselves are often the cause of our barrenness and dryness.
As a mother refuses to give sugar to her child suffering from worms, so God deprives us of his consolations when we take some vain pleasure in them and are subject to the worms of presumption: It is good for me, my God, that you have humbled me. Yes, for before I was humbled, I had offended you (Ps. 119:71,67).
When we do not care to gather the sweetness and the delights of the love of God in its proper time, he withdraws them from us in punishment of our sloth. The Israelite who did not gather the manna early in the morning could not do so after the sunrise, for it all melted away (Ex. 16:21).
Sometimes we rest on a bed of sensible delights and passing consolations like the sacred Spouse in the Song of Songs (5:2-6). Our Beloved knocks at the door of our hearts, he inspires us to resume our spiritual exercises. But we bargain with him, because we are displeased to cast aside these vain amusements and deprive ourselves of these false satisfactions. Therefore he goes away and leaves us in our sloth. Later, when we wish to seek him we have great difficulty in finding him. This is only what we have well deserved because we have been so unfaithful and disloyal to his love that we have refused to practise it in order to follow the love of worldly things. Alas, if you still keep some of the flour of Egypt you cannot have the manna of heaven. Bees detest all artificial smells; and the delights of the Holy Spirit are incompatible with the artificial delights of the world.
Insincerity and subtlety in our confessions and spiritual talks with our director lead to spiritual boredom and the absence of sensible consolations. As you lie to the Holy Spirit, it is not surprising that he denies you his consolation. If you are not simple and sincere like a little child, you will not receive the sweets of little children.
You have fed yourself greedily on worldly pleasures and it is not surprising that you have a distaste for spiritual delights. “Doves that have overeaten,” says the ancient proverb, “find cherries bitter.” He has filled the hungry with good things, says our Lady, and the rich he has left empty (Lk. 1:53). Those who are rich in worldly pleasures are not able to receive spiritual delights.
Have you been careful to preserve the fruits of the consolations you have received? If so, you will receive more, for to him who has more will be given; and from him who has not what has been given to him, but has been lost by his own fault, even that which he has will be taken away from him (Mt. 13:12). This means, he will be deprived of the graces which had been prepared for him. It is true, the rain revives plants which have green leaves, but as to those which have none at all, it takes away from them even the life which they might have had, for it rots them completely.
Due to many such causes, we lose the consolations of devotion and fall into spiritual boredom and desolation of the spirit. Let us then examine our conscience to see if we can observe in ourselves any of the defects mentioned earlier. But remember, Philothea, we must not make this examination with anxiety and too much curiosity. If, after careful consideration of our conduct in this respect, we discover the cause of the evil in ourselves, we must thank God, since an evil is half cured when its cause is discovered. On the contrary, if you find nothing in particular which seems to have caused this spiritual dryness, do not waste any time on a more careful examination. In all simplicity, without any further examination into details, follow the instructions I now give you:
Humble yourself profoundly before God, being aware of your own nothingness and misery: Alas, what am I left to myself? Nothing else, Lord, than a parched land, split in all directions, thirsting for the rain from heaven, while the wind scatters it and reduces it to dust.
Implore God and ask him earnestly for his joy: Restore to me, Lord, the joy of your salvation (Ps. 51:12). My Father, if it be possible, take away this chalice from me (Mt. 26:39). Depart from here, unfruitful north wind that dries up my soul: come, gentle wind of consolations and blow through my garden (Song 4:16), and its good affections will spread a fragrant odour.
Go to your confessor. Open your heart fully to him, making him see all your interior dispositions. Follow with great simplicity and humility the advice he gives you. God, who loves obedience very much, often renders profitable those counsels which we accept from others, especially from spiritual directors, though they may not seem to be of much use. God made the waters of Jordan a source of healing for Namaan, which Eliseus seemingly without any human reason had ordered him to use (2 Kings 5:9-14).
In such spiritual dryness and barrenness nothing is so useful and fruitful as not having any longing and attachment to the desire of being freed from it. I do not say that we should not have simple wishes to be set free, but I say that we should not set our heart on it. We must resign ourselves to the full mercy of God’s special providence so that he can use us as long as it pleases him in the midst of those thorns and among those deserts. Let us therefore say to God at such times: Father, if it be possible, take away this chalice from me: but let us add with great courage: nevertheless not my will but yours be done (Lk. 22:42). Let us remain in this state with as much tranquillity as possible. In fact, God seeing us in this holy indifference will comfort us with many graces and favours, just as he did when he saw Abraham ready to deprive himself of his son Isaac. He was pleased to see him indifferent, in this state of total resignation. He comforted him with a most delightful vision and many heavenly blessings (Gen. 22:15-18). Hence, whatever be the afflictions, corporal or spiritual, in the absence and withdrawal of sensible devotion which may happen to us, we must say with all our heart and with complete submission: The Lord gave me consolations, and the Lord has taken them away from me, blessed be his holy Name (Job 1:21). If we persevere in this humility, he will give back to us his delightful favours, as he did to Job, who constantly used similar words in all his trials.
Finally, Philothea, in the midst of all our spiritual dryness and desolation let us be full of courage. Let us wait patiently for the return of consolations, always continuing on our way. Let us not leave out exercises of devotion. Rather, if possible, let us multiply our good works. Since we cannot present to our Beloved sweets that are juicy, let us offer him dried ones. It is all the same to him, provided that the heart which offers them to him is firmly determined to love him. In fine spring weather, bees make more honey and have fewer young ones. On account of the fine weather they are so busy gathering honey from the flowers that they forget producing their young ones. But when the spring is chill and cloudy, they produce more young ones and gather less honey. Since they are unable to go out to gather honey, they occupy themselves with increasing and multiplying their number.
Philothea, we often find ourselves in the bright spring time of spiritual consolations. We are so absorbed in gathering and enjoying them that we perform much fewer good works because of the abundance of these sweet delights. On the other hand in spiritual dryness and barrenness, to the extent we find ourselves deprived of delight in devotion, we increase genuine good works. Moreover, interior practice of true virtues such as patience, humility, self-abjection, resignation, renunciation of self-love, flourishes.
Many, especially women, make a great mistake in thinking that the service we offer to God is less pleasing to his divine Majesty, when done without relish, without tenderness of heart and without feeling. Our actions are like roses which are more beautiful when fresh, yet have a greater fragrance and power when they dry. Even so, though our works done with tenderness of heart are pleasing to ourselves – to ourselves I say, who only consider our own satisfaction – yet when performed in a state of spiritual dryness and desolation, they have a greater fragrance and are more valuable in the sight of God. Yes, dear Philothea, in times of dryness our will carries us to the service of God, as it were, by pure force and therefore it must be more vigorous and firm than in times of consolation. It is not extraordinary to serve a prince amid the joy of peaceful days and the pleasures of the court. But to serve him during the hardships of war, and in troubles and persecutions, is a true sign of firmness and loyalty.
Blessed Angela of Foligno says that “the prayer most pleasing to God is that which is made by force and under stress.” In other words it is the prayer which we practice not because we find attraction in it, not from our inclination to it, but simply to please God. our will carries us to do this against our inclination, overcoming and breaking down the dryness and dislike we feel. I say the same regarding all kinds of good works, for the greater the opposition we have whether exterior or interior in doing them, the more their esteem and value in the eyes of God. the less the self-interest we show in the acquisition of virtues, the more pure the divine love which shines from it. A child promptly kisses the mother when she gives it sugar; but if it kisses after she has given it wormwood and aloes it shows that its love for her is great indeed.
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[1] Literally “Spiritual Dryness (Aridity) and Spiritual Barrenness (Desolation)”