It is very important that you understand this well, and so I do not hesitate to explain it further. St. Jerome speaks of a young man tied down upon a very soft bed with silk scarves. He was provoked with all sorts of vile touches and allurements by a sensual woman who lay with him for the express purpose of breaking his resolution. Must not he have reacted to her touch? Must not his senses have been possessed by pleasure and his imagination filled with the presence of these voluptuous objects? Certainly. Yet in the midst of so much distress, such a terrible storm of temptations, and such a flood of sensual pleasures, he proved the victory of his hear and his will’s refusal to consent. His spirit saw the complete revolt of all against him. Having no part of the body subject to his control, except the tongue, he bit it off and spat it in the face of the wretched woman. She was tormenting him more cruelly with voluptuousness than torturers could have done by their torments. So the tyrant, who despaired of conquering him by tortures, thought to overcome him by these pleasures.
There is a remarkable account of the struggle of St. Catherine of Siena in a similar situation. It can be summarized as follows: God allowed the devil to try the chastity of this holy virgin with the greatest possible fury, provided that he did not touch her. He made all kinds of impure suggestions to her heart. In order to provoke her further, appearing with his companions in the form of men and women, he committed thousands of carnal and lascivious actions in her sight, adding filthy words and solicitations. Although all this was exterior to her, yet the penetrated through her senses deep into her heart. As she herself confessed, her heart was entirely filled with them. However, the supreme point of her superior will still remained unshaken by this tempest of obscenity and carnal pleasure. This lasted for a long time, until one day our Lord appeared to her. She asked him: “Where were you, my dear Lord, when my heart was full of darkness and filth?” And He answered: “I was within your heart, my daughter.” “And how,” she replied, “could you dwell within my heart which was full of impurities? Do you abide then in such unclean places?” And the Lord said to her: “Tell me, did these impure thoughts of your heart cause you pleasure or sadness, bitterness or delight?” “Extreme bitterness and sadness” she replied. And He answered her, “Who was it that caused this great bitterness and sadness in your heart? It was myself, who remained hidden within the depths of your spirit. Believe me, my daughter, had I not been present, these thoughts which surrounded your will but could not take it by assault, would certainly have prevailed, and entered into it. They would have been welcomed with pleasure by your free will bringing death to your soul. But because I was within, I caused this displeasure and resistance in your heart and thus enabled it to resist the temptation with all its power. Not being able to resist as much as it wanted to, it felt a still greater displeasure and hatred against the temptation and against itself. Thus your struggles were a source of great merit and immense profit to you, increasing very much your virtue and strength.”
Notice, Philothea, how this fire was covered with ashes, how the temptation and pleasure entered the heart and encircled the will. Aided by our Saviour her will alone resisted the evil which was suggested to it, by the bitterness, displeasure and hatred of it, refusing steadfastly to consent to the sin which encompassed it. My God, how distressing to one who loves you, not to know whether you are present within or not, whether the divine love for which one fights, is still alive or not. But it is the fairest flower of the perfection of heavenly love to make the lover suffer and fight for love’s sake not knowing whether he has the love for which and by which he fights.