THE WILL DEAD TO ITSELF LIVES ENTIRELY IN THE WILL OF GOD
In the French language we speak with special respect of the death of people. We call it the passage and the dead as those who have passed away. In this way we indicate that death among people is only a passage from one life to another. To die is nothing but to depart from the limitation of mortal life and enter into immortal life. In fact our will can never die anymore than the soul. But it sometimes departs from the limits of its usual life so as to live entirely in the divine will. Then it neither can nor wishes to will anything further, but abandons itself fully and without reserve to the permissive will of divine providence. Our will blends and dissolves itself so much with this permissive will, that it does not appear any longer. But it is fully hidden with Jesus Christ in God (Col 3:3) where it no longer lives by itself but God’s will lives in it (Gal 2:20). What becomes of the brightness of the stars when the sun appears on the horizon? Such light does not actually perish, but it is seized and absorbed into the sun’s supreme light with which it is happily mingled and closely united. What becomes of human will when it is completely surrendered to the permissive will of God? It is not entirely lost, but it is so engulfed in and blended with God’s will, that there are no signs of it any longer. Hence it has no will other than God’s will.
Theotimus, consider the glorious and insufficiently praised Saint Louis as he embarks and sets sail to travel overseas. See also the queen, his dear wife, as she embarks with his majesty. Now if someone asked that valiant princess, “Madam where are you going?" her reply undoubtedly, would be: “I am going where the king is going." And if further asked: “But do you know Madam where the king is going?" She would have then answered: “He has said to me in general, but I don’t care to know where he is going, as long as I can go with him. I only want to go with him" and if someone replied “But, Madam, have you no purpose in this journey?," “No", she would have said, “I have none except to be with my beloved lord and husband." “Well," it might have been said to her, “he is going to Egypt in order to proceed to Palestine. He will stay at Damietta Acre and many other places. Don’t you have intentions madam to go there also!" To this she would have answered: “Not really, I have no other intention except to be with my king. The places to which he is going are immaterial and no concern to me except that he will be there. I am going with no desire to go, for I am concerned with nothing except the king’s presence. Therefore, it is the king who is going and desires the journey. As for me, I do not go. I only follow. I don’t desire this voyage but only the king’s presence. The sojourn, journey, and all kinds of circumstances are totally indifferent to me."
Certainly, if we ask some servant who is accompanying his master where he is going, he should not answer that he is going to such and such place but he would simply say that he accompanies his master. The servant does not go anywhere by his own will but only by that of his master. In the same way, Theotimus, a will perfectly resigned to that of God should have no other desire but simply to follow God’s will. Just as one who is in a ship lets himself move according to the movement of the vessel in which he is, so also the heart that is embarked in the permissive will of God should have no other will than that of allowing itself to be led by God’s will. In such case the heart no longer says, your will be done, not mine (Lk 22:42). For there is now no will to renounce. But he does say: Lord I commend my will into your hands (Ps 30:6) as though indicating that his will is no longer at his disposal, but at that of the divine providence.
Therefore, it is not exactly the same as with servants who accompany their masters. Even if the journey is undertaken at their master’s will, still their attendance on him is made by their own individual will, although it is a will that follows and serves and is submitted and subjected to that of their master. Therefore, just as master and servant are two persons, so also the master’s will and that of the servant are two wills. But if the will is dead to itself that it may live in the will of God, it is without any particular desire remaining not only in conformity and subjection but is totally annihilated in itself and is converted into God’s will. It is like we could say, a little child who does not yet have use of his will to love or desire anything except the bosom and the face of his dear mother. He does not think of willing to be at the side of anything except in the arms of his mother’s with whom he thinks himself to be one. He is not anxious about adapting his will to his mother’s will. For he is not aware that he has a will of his own, he leaves his mother to go, do and to wish what she will find good for him.
It is certainly the highest perfection of our will to be united to the will of our supreme good as the psalmist who said: O Lord, you have guided me and led me by your will (Ps 73:24). All what he wanted to say was that he did not use his own will to guide himself but has simply let himself be led and guided by the will of God.