THE INDIFFERENCE WHICH WE SHOULD PRACTISE CONCERNING OUR PROGRESS IN VIRTUES
God has ordained us to make use of our efforts to obtain holy virtues. Hence let us forget nothing that can bring good success in this devout enterprise. But after we have planted and watered, we should realize that it is God who grants the increase to the trees of our good inclinations and habits (1Cor 3: 6). That is why we must wait to obtain the fruits of our desires and labours from his divine providence. If we do not find our spirit’s progress and improvement in our devout life as we would like, let us not be disturbed, let us remain in peace so that tranquillity may always reign in our hearts. It is our task to cultivate diligently in our hearts and so we must faithfully attend to them. But as regards the abundance of crop, let us leave them to the care of Our Lord. The labourer will never be blamed for not having a good harvest, but only if he did not till and sow his fields. Let us not be anxious at finding ourselves always novices in the practice of virtues. For in the monastery of the devout life everyone knows himself/herself to be always a novice, and there the whole of our life is destined to be a probation. There is no clearer proof that one is not only a novice, but worthy of expulsion and condemnation than to think and hold oneself to be professed. According to the rule of the order, it is not the solemn ceremony but the fulfilment of its vows that make the novices into professed members. Its vows are never fulfilled as long as anything remains to be done for their observance. The responsibility of serving God and making progress in his love always lasts until death.
But after all, someone will say, if I know that is my own fault that my progress in virtue is delayed, how can I help being sad and disturbed? I have already said this in the Introduction to the Devout Life.[1] But I gladly repeat it here because it can never be said sufficiently. We are to be sorry for the sins we have committed, but not be troubled, anxious or discouraged. Do you know that your lagging behind the path of virtue comes from your own fault? Well, then, humble yourself before God, implore his mercy, fall prostate before the face of his goodness and ask his pardon, confess your faults, cry to God for mercy in the very ear of your confessor in order to obtain absolution for it. But this having done, remain in peace. Having detested the offence, lovingly embrace the abjection that is in you because of delaying your progress in doing good.
Ah, my Theotimus, the souls in purgatory are there no doubt because of their sins, sins that they have detested and that they supremely detest. They suffer abjection and pain which remain for them and being deprived of enjoying the blessed love that is in paradise. For these they suffer lovingly and devoutly pronounce the canticle of divine justice: You are righteous, O, Lord, and your judgements are right (Ps 119: 137). Therefore, let us be patient, then, in waiting for our progess. Instead of fretting over so little achievement in the past, let us diligently strive to do better in the future.
Consider, Theotimus this good soul, I beg you. It has desired and tried hard to overcome anger. In this effort God has completely freed it from all sins that arise from anger. It would rather die than utter a single harmful word or let any sign of hatred escape it. Nevertheless it is still subject to initial movements of that passion. They are certain impulses, movements, and flashes of anger in the irritated heart. The Chaldaic version paraphrases and calls them stirrings, and says: Tremble, and sin no more (Ps 4: 4) while our sacred version says: Be angry and sin not (Ps 4: 4). When you are disturbed do not sin. In effect, it is the same thing. The prophet would say that if anger surprise us, exciting in our hearts the first stirrings of anger, we are to be very careful against letting ourselves be carried away further into this passion so as to sin. Although these first movements and stirrings of anger are no sin, yet the unfortunate soul that is often seized by them becomes troubled, afflicted and disturbed. It thinks that it does well being sad, as though it were the love of God that provoked it to such sadness. Nevertheless, Theotimus, it is not heavenly love that causes this trouble, for it is never offended except by sin. It is our own self-love that desires to be exempt from the pains and toils which the attacks of anger cause in us. It is not the offence that displeases us in these stirrings of anger, because there is no sin whatsoever. It is the pain of resisting them that disturbs us. These rebellions of sensual appetite, both in anger and in concupiscence, are left in us for our practice of virtues. Its purpose is to practise spiritual courage by resisting them. It is that Philistine whom the true Israelites must ever fight against but can never subdue (Josh 23: 13). They can weaken but never destroy him. He never dies except when we die, and always lives with us. He is truly accursed and detestable, since he issues from sin and is perpetually tending towards sin. That is why as we are called dust because we are taken from dust and shall return to dust (Gen 3: 19). Hence this rebellion is called sin by St. Paul (Rom 6:8; Col 3:9), because it comes from sin and leads to sin, although it never makes us guilty unless we give in to it and obey it. So the Apostle himself warns us: You must not, then allow sin to tyrannize over your perishable bodies, to make you subject to its appetites (Rom 6: 12). He does not order us to keep sin from coming into us and being present in us, but he commands that we should not allow it to reign over us. Sin is in us when we perceive the rebellion of our sense appetite. However it does not reign in us unless we give way to it. A physician never orders a man who is down with fever not to feel thirsty which would be a very foolish thing. He rightly advises him that he must refrain from drinking even though he is thirsty. Nobody will tell a pregnant woman that she should not have an inclination to eat special things. It is because it is not in her power. She could be told to tell what her appetite is. If it is for something harmful they may divert her imagination and prevent such a fancy from reigning over her mind.
A sting of this flesh, an angel of Satan roughly attacked the great St. Paul in order to make him fall into sin. The poor Apostle suffered this as a shameful and degrading wrong. That is why he called it as humiliation, a rebuff and begged God to deliver him if it pleased him. But God answered him: O Paul, my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in infirmity. (2 Cor12:9). The great holy man accepted this saying: More than ever, then, I delight to boast of the weaknesses that humiliate me, so that the strength of Christ may enshrine itself in me (2 Cor 12:7-9). However, please note well that there is sensual rebellion even in that admirable vessel of election (Acts 9: 15). When he turns to the remedy of prayer he shows us that we should fight by those same means against the temptations we feel. Notice further that if our Lord allows such cruel rebellions in humans it is not always for the punishments of some sin but to manifest the strength and power of divine help and grace. Finally, note that we should not be anxious over our temptations and our infirmities. We should also glorify in being weak so that God’s power may appear in us sustaining in our weakness against the power of suggestion and temptation. The glorious Apostle [St Paul] calls these weaknesses as impure stirrings and sensations he felt. He says that he boasts in them because although he feels them keenly by his misery, still by God’s mercy he did not consent to them.
Indeed, as I have already pointed out, the church condemned the error of certain hermits who said that even in this world we could be completely free from passions of anger, lust, fear and so on. God wills that we have certain enemies. He wills that we should repulse them. Therefore let us live courageously between the one will of God and the other, suffering with patience when we are attacked. Let us bravely make progress against our assailants and resist them.
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[1] IDL, Pat\rt III: Ch. 9