PURITY OF INDIFFERENCE SHOULD BE PRACTISED IN THE ACTIONS OF SACRED LOVE
One of the finest musicians in the world, who played the lute perfectly well, became in a short time stone deaf. He had no longer any use of hearing. Yet he continued to sing and play his lute with marvellous delicacy by reason of his great skill which his deafness had not taken away. But he had no pleasure in singing nor in the sound of his lute. Because of the loss of hearing he could not perceive their sweetness and beauty. Hence he would no longer sing or play except to entertain a prince whose subject he was from childhood onwards. The musician had a great inclination as well as obligation to please the prince as he was brought up in his palace from his youth. Hence he took a keen interest in pleasing him. When the prince said that he was pleased with his music, he was enchanted with delight. But it happened sometimes that the prince, to test this loving musician’s love, gave him an order to sing. Then immediately leaving him alone there in his chamber, he left for hunting. The desire which this singer had to fulfil his master’s wish made him continue his song as attentively as though his prince were present, although in fact he himself took no pleasure in singing. He had no pleasure in the melody because his deafness deprived him of it, nor that of pleasing the prince as he was absent and could not enjoy the sweetness of the beautiful songs he sang.
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast.
I will sing and make melody,
Awake my soul!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awke the dawn (Ps 57, 7-8).
The human heart is the true singer of the canticle of sacred love. It is both harp and psaltery. Usually this singer hears his own voice, and takes great pleasure in listening to his melodious song. In other words, when the human heart loves God, enjoys the delight of this love. It has an unparalleled satifaction in loving an object so lovable.
I beg you, Theotimus, to note what I mean. The young nightingales try to sing in order to imitate the older ones. But once they have mastered the skill, they sing for the pleasure which they take in warbling. They are very passionately attached to this pleasure, as I have said elsewhere.[1] By force of straining their voice, their throats burst and they die. In the same manner, at the beginning of devotion our hearts love God in order to become one with him, to be pleasing to him and imitate him in his eternal love for us. But, little by little, being formed and practised in sacred love, there is an unnoticeable change. Instead of loving God in order to please God, they begin to love him for the pleasure they take in the practice of holy love. Instead of falling in love with God, they fall in love with the love they have for him. They remain attached to their own affections. They no longer take pleasure in God, but in the pleasure they find in his love. They are satisfied with this love because it is their own, because it is in their spirit and because it proceeds from it. This sacred love is called love of God, as God is loved by it; yet it does not cease to be our love because we are the lovers who love by it. This is the reason for the change. Instead of loving this holy love because it leads to God whom we love, we love it because it proceeds from us who are the lovers. Who does not see that by so loving it is no longer God that we seek but we come back to ourselves? We love the love instead of loving the beloved. We are loving, I say, the love not because of God’s good pleasure and contentment but for the pleasure and satisfaction we draw from it. This singer, then, who in the beginning sang to God and for God, now rather sings to himself and for himself than for God. If he takes pleasure in singing, it is not so much to please God’s ear as his own. It is because the canticle of the divine love is the most excellent of all songs. He also loves it better not because of the divine excellence which is praised by it, but because the melody of the song is more delightful and pleasant.
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[1] TLG Bk V, Ch. 8.