THE BEST PRACTICE TO DEAL WITH THE EXTERIOR AND INTERIOR TRIALS OF THIS LIFE, AFTER ACHIEVING DISINTERESTEDNESS AND DEATH OF THE WILL
To praise and thank God, for all events that his providence disposes, is in true sense a very holy practice. However, we leave to God the care of willing and doing what pleases him in us, for us and by us. We do not pay attention to all that passes through us, although we feel them much. We could distract our heart and concentrate our attention on God’s goodness and loving kindness. We could praise his goodness not in its effects nor in the events which it ordains but in itself and in its own excellence. We would undoubtedly be performing a much higher practice.
While Demetrius was laying siege to Rhodes, Protogenes,[1] who was in a small house on the outskirts, never stopped working with so much of confidence and tranquillity of spirit. Although a sword was always at his throat, he produced his greatest masterpiece of a wonderful satyr playing upon a pipe. O God, how great are those souls who amidst vicissitudes of every kind constantly keep mind and heart fixed upon God’s everlasting goodness in order to honour and cherish it for ever!
The daughter of a famous physician and surgeon fell into fever that lasted a long time. Aware of her father’s deep affection for her, she said to one of her friends, “I am in great pain, but I never think about any remedies. It is because I don’t know what would be needed to cure me. I could desire one thing when I ought to have another. Isn’t it better for me to leave this care to my father? He knows he can also do and desire all that my health requires. It would be wrong on my part to think about it because he would think enough for me. It would be a mistake for me to wish for something. Since he would do all that would be beneficial for me, I need only to wait for him to wish what he thinks suitable for me. When he is close to me, I will not do anything else except to look at him. I will show him my filial love and make known my perfect confidence in him." With these words she fell asleep. Whereas her father, deciding that it was necessary that she should be bled, made all the necessary arrangements. Then, coming to her as she woke up, he asked her how she slept and whether she would let herself be bled in order to get cured. “My father", she answered, “I am yours. I do not know what I should do for my cure, it is up to you to decide and do whatever you think best for me. As for me, all I want is to love and honour you with all my heart as I do." So they tied her arms and the father himself opened the vein. As he made the incision and the blood gushed forth, his loving daughter did not look at the wounded arm or at the flowing of blood from the vein but kept her eyes fixed upon her father’s face. She did not say anything as such except now and then softly said: “My father loves me very much and I am all his." When everything was over, she did not thank him but only repeated yet again those same words of filial affection and confidence.
Tell me now, Theotimus, my friend, did not this girl show a more thoughtful and stronger love for her father than if she had been very cautious to ask him about a cure for her sickness? Or if she had watched him as he opened the vein and the blood flowed out, if she had said many words of thanks to him? There is not even the slightest doubt about it. If she had thought about herself she would have had only useless care since her father had enough of it for her. By watching her arm during the surgery, she would have gained nothing except fright. By thanking her father, what virtue would she have practised except the virtue of gratitude? Was it not better for her to concentrate in showing her filial love which was indeed more pleasing to her father than every other virtue?
My eyes are always on the Lord for he will deliver my feet from the snares and from the traps (Ps 25:15). Are you fallen into the snares of adversities? Ah, do not look at your accidents, nor upon the traps into which you are caught. Look upon God, leave all to him and he will take care of you. Cast your cares or worries upon him and he will sustain you (Ps 54:23). Why do you involve yourself in wishing or not wishing the events and accidents of the world? You do not know what you ought to wish, and God will always make enough plans for you without putting yourself in trouble. Hence wait in peace of mind for the effects of God’s permissive will. Let his willing always be enough for you because it is always the best. So it was that he commanded his beloved St Catherine of Siena for he told her, “Think of me, and I will think for you."
It is extremely difficult to express exactly this complete indifference of the human will which is thus surrendered and dead in the will of God. In my opinion, we cannot say that it complies with God’s will, since compliance is an act of the soul declaring its consent. We should not say it accepts or receives because to accept and receive are certain actions which can be called to some extent passive actions by which we embrace and take what happens. We should not say that it permits, as even permission is an act of the will and hence is a certain idle willing, which does not wish to do anything but wishes that it be done. It seems to me that the soul which is in this indifference wills nothing but leaves God to will what will please him, so as to have its will in a simple and general alertness. Since to wait is neither to do or to act but to remain open to some event. And if you examine the matter, this waiting of the soul is really voluntary. However, it is not an action but rather a simple disposition to receive whatever will happen. As soon as the events take place and are received, the alertness changes into consent or acceptance. But before they occur, the soul is truly in a state of simple alertness, indifferent to all that will please the divine will to dispose.
Thus our Saviour expresses his complete submission of his human will to the will of his eternal Father. The Lord has opened my ear (Is 50:5,6). In other words, he has made known to me his permissive will concerning the manifold sufferings which I should endure. And he says soon after that, “I do not resist at all, I do not draw back at all." What does it mean by these statements, “I do not resist at all, I do not draw back at all”; if not My will is in a state of simple alertness; it remains ready for all that the divine will disposes. Therefore, I give and abandon my body to the pleasure of those who will strike and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard (Is 50: 5, 6) prepared for all they would wish to do with me? But I pray you, ‘Theotimus, see how it was with our Saviour after he had made his prayer of resignation in the garden of olives. He not only let himself be pulled and dragged, and pushed around by those who crucified him with a wonderful surrender of his body and his life into their hands. But he also placed his soul and his will by a most perfect disinterestedness in the hands of his eternal Father. Although he cried out: My God, My God why have you forsaken me (Mt 27:46), it was to make known to us the the terrible bitterness and pain of his soul. It was not to act contrary to the most holy indifference in which he was. Soon after he made it very clear as he concluded his whole life and his passion with these incomparable words: My Father, into your hands I commend my spirit (Lk 23:46).
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[1] An eminent ancient Greek painter who flourished about 336 B.C. He was brought into notice by Apelles (See TLG, Kerns, p.392.)